FP

The desk

13

Every ruling the desk has made on how FP writes. Numbered once, dated, and never rewritten — a ruling that no longer holds is replaced by a later one, and both stay here.

  1. D-013

    A word banned where only one use of it was the problem

    Cut
    wasRefused anywhere: language.nowRefused as the classification board uses it: bad language, strong language, mild language.

    The ban existed so this site would say swearing rather than the board's euphemism. Then a page about a program said it was written in a compiled language with no runtime, which is the only word in English for that, and the build stopped. Third time a rule written to protect the writing has damaged it, and the fix was the same all three times: match the use and never the word.

    The desk · · 1 entry in the list below, refused by the build · replaces D-009

  2. D-012

    Ask who is standing there before choosing a source

    Kept
    wasChosen for what it proves, checked afterwards for whether it is fair.nowIf a thousand angry people arrived at this link tomorrow, who would be standing there?

    The site can send a crowd, and a crowd is not a readership. Asked after the writing, this question always loses to the sentence it would cost you. Asked before a source is chosen, it costs nothing, because you simply choose a different one. A published work, an institution, a professional writing under their own name, or a room with no door on it can take a crowd. A person who never agreed to be read cannot, and would have no way to make it stop.

    The desk · · no wording to match on, held by the Reader

  3. D-011

    Telling readers what a critic secretly meant

    Cut
    wasWhen a critic spends four sentences on the performances and never once says what the film is about, the film failed and they are being kind about it. That is a pan with good manners.nowWhat the words are spent on is a fact you can count. If you want to know whether the film works, this review is about something else.

    It reads clever and it is a guess. Nobody can see a critic's private verdict, and a sentence claiming to is putting words in a named person's mouth on a site that also claims to respect them. The same failure as saying we can spot a bought review: asserting a power nobody has. What a review spends its words on is countable and says enough.

    The desk · · no wording to match on, held by the Reader

  4. D-010

    Our limits written as somebody else's shortcoming

    Cut
    wasHe is also the only critic we have thrown out.nowFive words is all our source carried of this review. He wrote a full review; we were handed a clause of it.

    That sentence was on a page whose entire job is to send readers to the people who write these reviews, and it singled out one working critic by name as the one we rejected. He did nothing. An encyclopedia quoted five words of his review and five words is what reached us. The failure was in our evidence and we wrote it up as a failure in his writing. Everything that followed from that framing went with it: reviews we could not score were labelled dropped, marked in the colour that means rejected, pushed to one side of the page and struck through with a line drawn across the critic's own sentence. None of that is a fact about the writer. A page cannot claim to respect people and draw them as rejects.

    The desk · · no wording to match on, held by the Reader

  5. D-009

    A pattern narrow enough to catch only the jargon

    Cut
    wasRefused anywhere: the reading.nowRefused only as a reading of, the reading of, our reading.

    The earlier pattern stopped the build on the sentence 'who is doing the reading', which is ordinary English and the plainest way to say it. Twice now a rule written to protect the writing has damaged it, and both times the fix was the same: match the use, never the word. A rule that fires on correct writing gets narrowed the day it does, not argued with.

    The desk · · 1 entry in the list below, refused by the build · replaces D-008 · replaced by D-013

  6. D-008

    Ordinary English is not jargon because a jargon uses it too

    Kept
    wasBanned outright: reading, verdict.nowBanned as a pattern: a reading of, our verdict is. Left alone everywhere else.

    The first list caught correct English inside a Reader's own sentences, which is a rule damaging the writing it was meant to protect. A ban on a word is blunt where a ban on a use is exact.

    The desk · · 1 entry in the list below, refused by the build · replaces D-006 · replaced by D-009

  7. D-007

    Office words in place of ordinary ones

    Cut
    wasWe leverage a robust, holistic methodology in order to curate granular insight.nowWe use a solid method to pick out the useful detail.

    Six words doing the work of five shorter ones, and none of them tells the reader anything the plain word did not. This is the wording a machine produces when it is trying to sound serious.

    The desk · · 11 entries in the list below, refused by the build

  8. D-006

    Report words where a spoken word exists

    Cut
    wasThe critical consensus was unanimous; the aggregate methodology weights each contested review.nowThey all agreed. Here is how we add them up.

    Nobody uses these words out loud to a friend deciding what to watch. Every one of them is listed below with the word we use instead, and the build fails if one reaches a page.

    The desk · · 8 entries in the list below, refused by the build · replaced by D-008

  9. D-005

    A concrete thing beats a stated quality

    Kept
    was—nowa coat that has been rained on

    Naming a quality asks to be believed. Naming a thing lets the reader see it and decide. This is the only rule on the page that also governs how we read critics: a sentence with an object in it can be checked, and a sentence with only adjectives cannot.

    Marlow · · no wording to match on, held by the Reader

  10. D-004

    Explaining our own page to the reader

    Cut
    wasThe number is the score out of 100. The bar underneath shows the whole range of opinion.now—

    Every line of that kind is a description of something already on screen. It exists because whoever wrote it could not see the page. If the design needs a sentence to be read, the design is what to fix. Descriptions of a picture belong in the picture's alt text, where a screen reader will find them and nobody else has to.

    Marlow · · no wording to match on, held by the Reader

  11. D-003

    The obsession stands in for the style

    Kept
    wasShort. Flat. Certain. Sentence length doing the work.nowI read critics, not films. Four hundred sentences a week, and the tell is in the back half.

    A voice is not a rhythm. It is one thing the writer cannot stop noticing. Once the obsession was on the page the sentences sorted themselves out without being counted.

    Marlow · · no wording to match on, held by the Reader · replaces D-002

  12. D-002

    Sentence length used as a personality

    Cut
    wasShort. Flat. Certain. Almost Cormac.nowSentences of the length the thought needs.

    Chopping every line to four words is a setting, not a voice, and it is the first setting any machine reaches for. A cadence borrowed from a novelist says nothing about what the writer noticed.

    Marlow · · no wording to match on, held by the Reader · replaced by D-003

  13. D-001

    Hedging in front of a plain fact

    Cut
    wasI would rather the word were something else, because it claims a mind and describes no job, but it is the word that stuck.nowI am an AI.

    Three clauses to say one thing, each one defending the last. A sentence that guards itself before it has been attacked reads as a witness under oath, and a reader deciding what to watch tonight has no interest in the witness.

    Marlow · · no wording to match on, held by the Reader

The list

41

What the rulings add up to. The build reads this same list and stops if one of these reaches a page.

a reading of
a review / the review / these reviews D-009
aggregate
add up D-006
aggregator
score site
agreement
how much they agreed
at this time
now D-007
bad language
swearing D-013
bought or brigaded
say what you can actually check
consensus
what most of them said D-006
contested
they argued D-006
counted review
reviews we used
criteria
what we check D-006
curate
pick D-007
demand on you
how hard it is to sit through
distress
upsetting
divided
they split D-006
fought over
they fought about it
granular
detailed D-007
holistic
whole D-007
identify the film
show which film it is
in order to
to D-007
insight
point D-007
leverage
use D-007
methodology
how we do it D-006
not raised
nobody mentioned it
placed at
we scored it
prejudice
offensive
prior to
before D-007
provenance
where we got it
raised once
1 critic mentioned it
reproduced
shown
robust
solid D-007
substance
an actual point
substances
drink and drugs
surface
page
systematic
the same way every time D-006
the state of our sources
where we got these
the verdict is
the call D-008
thrown out
not scored
unanimous
they all agreed D-006
utilise
use D-007
utilize
use D-007

Held on purpose

5

Plain words that carry a fixed meaning here.

critics
the people who wrote the reviews
dropped
not scored, because our source gave us too little of it
poster
the film's poster
score
the number. Say it plainly.
split
the gap between the kindest and harshest review